What keeps you stuck?

Do you feel something important is missing in your life but can’t pinpoint what it is? Are you asking yourself, What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy? but this inner monologue only makes you sink even deeper into the mud of uncertainty? Everyone feels stuck in their life occasionally, but it can be extremely frustrating if you find yourself in limbo for a more extended period.

Most of my coaching clients in this situation are questioning their struggles and have no idea what to do. While we are all different and dealing with different challenges, some common things can keep us trapped in unfulfilling situations. In this article, I want to explore these common factors and, hopefully, make those who are stuck feel less alone and inspired to take charge.

1. You think you are unique in your struggles.

Everyone seems to be happy with their corporate job but me! There must be something wrong with me, all my friends would kill for a job like this! If I got a green smoothie every time I heard this from my clients, I would be immortal. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t like your job just like you don’t like certain sports, celebrities or vegetables.

As we are getting paid for the work we do, it comes with a certain pressure to at least pretend to be enjoying it. And many people are such great actors that if they started doing it professionally, they would end up with much better gigs than filling spreadsheets!

But jokes aside, Many people are NOT happy with their jobs, and it’s not something they will tell you during an elevator chit-chat. And then many people love their jobs, and good for them! But if you feel different, they are not you. So please acknowledge how you feel so you can finally start doing something about it. Life is too short.

2. You believe things will sort themselves out.

Yes, life constantly changes, and we don’t know what will happen tomorrow. That’s why it’s easy to assume that if we keep waiting, the stars will align, and the right solution to our problem will present itself. These things happen. But we never know for sure and when, and waiting takes away our control. We are becoming victims of our circumstances.

Wouldn’t it feel better to actively take even tiny steps towards the change you have long longed for? You might not be 100% sure about your solution, but like when using Google Maps — sometimes you need to take a couple of steps to see if you are going in the right direction, and even turning around can be a step forward.

3. You keep waiting for your fears to go away.

They won’t. What you can do is acknowledge it and get in peace with it. There is no pain-free change. Change is scary — you are taking steps into the unknown, leaving something behind while not knowing what will happen. But you are an adult and fully capable of dealing with obstacles as they appear on the way.

4. You believe thinking more will bring more clarity.

If you are one of those people who work so hard that they literally have no time to reflect, this might be the case. But if you already are an overthinker, a week by yourself in the mountains might not help you to move forward. Because most probably, all the information you need is already there; it’s just too difficult for you to see it clearly because you have been in your head for too long.

What you need is to start taking action. Did you make the first step, and it didn’t feel right? Great, even that gives you some information, and you can change your approach. Sometimes, we need to start walking the path to see if it’s the right one for us, and if not, at least we know, and we can let it go with peace of mind.

5. You are waiting for external approval.

Perhaps you have an idea of what you want to do, but you don’t know anyone yet who would have taken a similar path. You subconsciously hope someone will tell you the path you are considering is doable and will be a success. Sure, that would be fantastic, but listen: Even if someone succeeded in the very same thing you are considering pursuing, it does not guarantee the same result for you — simply because you are a completely different person.

The good news is, if no one has been successful so far in pursuing your idea, it does not mean you can’t make it work. There is a saying in coaching: “Whatever you believe is possible or not possible for you, you are probably right.” Why not choose trusting yourself and fully supporting yourself on the way instead of investing your energy into thinking about all the things that can go wrong? Yes, they can, but they can go amazingly well as well. Most likely, you will end up somewhere in between, and you will be capable of tackling your obstacles and figuring things out if you focus on what matters, and that’s what will make you feel alive again.

In conclusion, remember this: You are not alone in feeling stuck. Embrace your discontent and fear, and take those small, uncertain steps toward change. Don’t let fear hold you back; take those uncertain steps forward, see what happens, and deal with it. Life won’t sort itself out on its own. Overthinking clouds your vision, so trust your instincts and embrace change.

Life is too short to remain stagnant in a place where you don’t belong!